I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
