WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
