My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
