Well apparently he's into motor boating.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
