ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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