She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
