Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
