i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I need to align my fucking chakras
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
