you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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