you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
