guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
