O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
