Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize