Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize