Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
