I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
