i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
