we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
