he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
