Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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