I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
