I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
