how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just invented taco cereal.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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