I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
