she woke up with a sticky ear
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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