I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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