Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
