how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
