Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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