okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
