I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
