After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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