just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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