i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
