1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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