Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
