You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
