when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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