there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If that was your dad, he is hot
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
