No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
