life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize