Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
