i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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