is your mom at the bar?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
