last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
