just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
