let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
