Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
