Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
