i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
