but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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