I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
