Nicole vs. Life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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