He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
