She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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