I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
