I wanna bring you to show and tell
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
