My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
