Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
