Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
