he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize