I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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