I just made out with a guy for $7.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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