y did u give ur computer a hand job?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
